Writing About Writing – Antonia Bloom's Services

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Latest Closing Lines from WIP…

Jeremy Lux felt as though God had appeared and taken him somewhere – he could not see where, but it hurt like Hell and Heaven must be a million miles away. Everything looked white and he could hear a silly screeching sound like violins gone crazy. His fingernails and scalp seemed to sizzle and he felt first hot then cold as ice. He couldn’t think about anything, just that either God or the Devil had taken him and he was glad. If God had him it would stop. If the Devil had him…he fell unconscious on the cold slab of floor and stayed like that, singeing and snarling as he half-slept in the quiet darkened church.

As he groaned and grunted deep in sleep, Susie stood over him. He looked different, as though the skin on his face had been stretched to fit. Yet, he was the same even after all these years, though that could be because she was scrutinising every groove in that strange, oily pitted face.

Susie managed to get back through the door that led to the ladder. Up she went, almost slipping off each rung as she clambered towards freedom. She couldn’t quite believe she’d disabled that man. Her hands shook as she clutched at the ladder. Frantically, she climbed. Even though she’d seen Boris there on the floor, writhing in agony, she was still afraid. Susie made it along the tunnel and back into the loft where she collapsed with relief and exhaustion. Questions flooded her mind. How had that man known where she was? Was she safe in the house? Where the hell was Dan? Then she heard a small sniff. Susie stopped dead, looking up through the beam of the torch. She scrambled over to where the light cord was and yanked it on. Then she saw him. Dan. He was sitting just to the right of the light cord, precariously positioned on a beam, legs crossed in front of him. Susie lifted her arms up towards him as he stood up and they embraced.

“It’s you,” she managed to blurt out. “The flesh and bones you. I miss your sparkly bits,” she said smiling.

Dan laughed. A sound she’d longed to hear. “Yes it’s me darling. You know, now there are two of me you have a choice. If you fancy the sparkly me one day or the boring old me the next…” He picked up the silver locket between his fingers, bending to kiss the heart.


Written by Antonia Bloom (ABloom Writing Services)

March 18, 2013 at 11:07 pm

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